Naruto and the four Chaos Goddesses
by gondor20
Summary: A few small changes, and Naruto's life gets crazy. Four Chaos Goddesses, a Chaos Warmaster trying not to get killed, and Naruto dating powerful and evil goddesses. This is a Warhammer40k/Naruto, but warhammer knowledge is not needed. AU and just funny.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok everyone, this is going to be just a series of short stories built around two changes. **

**1. What if the Chaos Gods were Chaos Goddesses? **

**2. What if they had human forms?**

**This is going to be funny. Also, it seems all four of them have their eyes on a blond ninja. The Chaos Goddess will act like Sisters in a way too.**

**Prologue: Four Goddesses and the first date**

A woman with blood red hair sat up in her bed. Her facial features were perfect. She yawned and got out of the bed. She began to walk towards a door near her bed. She opened it and pulled out armor. The armor was metal and had spikes all over it. The woman put it on and went out another door. She walked into a kitchen with a small table in the middle. The woman grabbed a box of 'Corn Flakes' from the counter. She opened the cabinet and grabbed a bowl. After pouring her cereal into the bowl, she looked at it. "MILK FOR CORN FLAKES," she yelled. The woman leaped towards a fridge and pulled out a thing of milk. After adding the milk, the woman sat down. The woman snapped her fingers. A small ball appeared in front of her. She looked into the ball and saw battles going on. She smiled at the amount of blood. The image changed to a man. The man had short, spiky blond hair. He had whiskers on his face and deep blue eyes. He wore an orange coat with an orange and black jump suite under it. The image showed the man training. "Who is this man? I must have him! He's strong and good looking. Imagine it, me and him on a battlefield, spilling blood. WHAT A WEDDING," the woman said. She focused on the imagine and smiled. "His name is Naruto. I will have you! You shall become the husband of Khorne, the blood Goddess!"

/ / / / / /

A woman smiled as she turned the page of her book. The woman was good looking. She had black-ish blue hair done up into a bun. She had small circle glasses. She wore long blue robes. She sighed as she got up from the chair she was sitting. She walked over to a table and saw a book. She sat and opened it. "Lets see. The Thousand Sons should move to help the Black Legion fight against the Blood Ravens." The woman closed her eyes and focused. She saw a battle between the Black Legion and the Blood Ravens. The imaged changed to a man. He had blond hair and deep blue eyes. He also whisker marks. He was sitting in a library reading a book. The woman's mouth hung open as she watched him. He had a look of intelligent on his face. "Who is this man," she said out loud. She focused and found his name. "Naruto. You are a jewel. I must plan for you. I, Tzeentch the goddess of Change, will have you!"

/ / / / / /

"Hmmm. I like this one. A slow death from the heart melting. Wait! Who shall receive this gift? How about the planet Fervious? It's not that well known. Perfect," a woman said in what looked like a garden. The woman had long, dark green hair that went down to the curve in her back. Her face was soft with a smile. Her eyes were black with green pupil. She wore a long green dress. She turned away from her plague caldron and sat in a chair surrounded by decaying plants. "I can't wait to release this one onto a planet. Let them try and cure this one," the woman said as she pulled a dead flower over to her. The flower puffed spores into the air. The woman saw the planet Fervious. She saw the only city on the planet, a shanty town. The people lived close together. "Wonderful! The living conditions are poor. This will spread the plague faster!" The flower shot another group of spores into the air. The spores showed a blond man eating ramen. His hair was short and spiky. The man's eyes were blue. He also had whiskers marks. The name 'Naruto' was about it written out in orange spores. "I have never seen a man so. . . HOT! He seems to like to eat. I wonder if he likes plagues. I must have him! Nurgle, the goddess of decay, is coming for you!"

/ / / / / / / /

A woman with short blond hair was lying on a bed of pink pillows. She sighed as she changed the channel of a large TV. The woman was wearing a pink dress with a pink bow. She lay down and sighed. "I need something to keep me pleasured. I need a man! A good looking man," the woman said. She changed the channel of the TV and saw a blond man naked taking a shower. The woman's bored expression changed into a crazy/happy one. "LOOK AT THAT HUNK! WHAT IS HIS NAME," the woman yelled. She focused and thought hard. "NARUTO! I MUST HAVE YOU! WE WILL PLEASE EACH OTHER FOR EVER," the woman yelled. "YOUR FUTURE WIFE SLAANESH, THE GODDESS OF SEX AND PASSION, IS COMING!" The woman stopped. "Damn, I got that meeting with the other three first. Oh don't worry, it won't be long.

/ / / / / / / Meeting of the Chaos Goddesses

The four of the goddesses sat around a large wooden table. "So, that's about it," Tzeentch said closing a large book. Once a few years, the Chaos Goddesses come together to talk about. . . .Anything. Mostly what their armies will be doing.

"Hurry up! A handsome blond man has my name written all over it! I CAN'T WAIT TO RIDE HIM," Slaanesh yelled.

"Wait. Is his name Naruto," Khorne asked with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah! How did you know?" The room was silent. No one spoke or moved.

"YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! NARUTO IS MINE," Khorne yelled, breaking the silence.

"WHAT? I SAW HIM FIRST! NARUTO IS TOO GOOD LOOKING FOR YOU," Slaanesh yelled.

"SHUT UP! I WILL HAVE NARUTO! WE WILL CREATE GREAT PLAUGES," Nurgle yelled joining the fight. The three began to fight, while Tzeentch watched them.

"Sit down. I know who will have him," the goddess of change said. The three looked at her. "Naruto will go to. . . . . . ME!" The four began to yell and fight for the right to have the blond. In a corner, Abaddon the Despoiler sat scared. Here he was, in the room with four women, no not woman. Goddesses who wanted one man. He needed to end this if he wanted to get out alive.

"I have an idea," Abaddon said. Four pairs of eyes turned to him. "How about you let him pick? Let him take each one of you on a date." The four chaos goddesses stopped and thought.

"Good idea, but who will go on the first date," Tzeentch said.

"Each of you pick a number between 1 and 10000," Abaddon said.

/ / / / / / / / Konoha

"DONE! ANOTHER," Naruto yelled. The ramen cook smiled and went to fix another bowl of ramen. Naruto turned his head and saw Sasuke and Hinata finish their first bowl. He turned his head towards the pile of his. "You guys need to eat faster!"

"Hn. Not everyone has a large stomach," Sasuke said in a monotone, itachi-like voice. Hinata nodded.

"Yep! I am the ramen king," Naruto said happily. It was two years after the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. The war ended when Naruto and Sasuke had fought Madara. The battle was rough, but they had won. Sasuke returned to Konoha after the battle. All of his crimes were forgiven, but the other countries still don't like him. Overall, life was good. A lot of his friends were married happily. Gaara had married Sakura. Shikamaru had married Temari. Choji married Ino. Kiba had married Ayame, the ramen cook. Shino married a weird bug girl from his clan. Neji and Tenten were dating. Lee married a woman from Choji's clan. Sasuke had married. . . . Hinata. Naruto sill didn't understand it, and he did not want to.

Naruto's ramen came when he heard someone yell. "NARUTO! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" Naruto stood and pushed the curtain away. Standing in the middle of the street were Khorne, Tzeentch, Nurgle, and Slaanesh. Khorne stepped forward. "Naruto! We four have an issue."

Tzeentch stepped forward. "Naruto, we four are the Chaos Lords. We have come from a land far away. We have each seen you and want you. After a lot of fighting we have come to a conclusion. You will take each one of us on a date. Then pick the best one."

"What if I don't want," Naruto asked.

"If you don't, we will kill everyone in this entire village. Your choice," Khorne said.

"When you put it that way, I really want to go on a date with all of you," Naruto said sheepishly. The Chaos Goddesses all smiled.

"Your first date will be with. . . . "

**Cliffhanger! Leave who you want in the reviews. And remember this is a light hearted story so don't flame. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome to another chapter of Naruto and the Chaos Goddess. Naruto will go on his first date with. . . . Read below to find out! **

**Oh, I also don't own anything. Naruto and War hammer belongs to their owners.**

"HAHAHA! I look amazing! Naruto will not be able to resist me," Khorne yelled as she looked at herself in her mirror. Her red hair was in a bun and she wore a long black dress. She turned to Abaddon. "How do I look," she asked. Abaddon began to panic. He looked at the ax in her right hand.

"Lady Khorne you look good. Naruto will not be able to resist you," Abaddon said with fear. Khorne looked at him and then smiled.

"Good. He will choose me! I know it! AHAHAHAHA," Khorne yelled. "Oh and Abaddon. If I lose him, I WILL TOURTUE YOU FOR EVER! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!" Khorne laughed and left the hotel room. Abaddon began to sweat. He knew who ever Naruto picked, he was going to die. If he picked Khorne, the other three goddess will kill him.

_'I gotta to think of something! How can Naruto pick without hurting the others, which would lead to my death?'_

/ / / / / / / / / Konoha's Finest Steak House

Naruto sat at a private table waiting for his first date. _'She scares me. At least she drove away my fan girls. . . .After killing a few,'_ Naruto thought as he waited. Khorne was good looking. She had a look very few had and it worked for her. Naruto turned his head when he saw the door open. Khorne turned her head and smiled. Naruto waved and Khorne walked. "Hello Khorne, you look good."

"I know! You don't look to bad," Khorne said look Naruto up and down. Naruto wore a simple black suit with a black bow tie. Naruto pulled Khorne's chair out to allow her to sit.

After both were seated, they began to talk. "So, Khorne. What are some of your hobbies," Naruto asked.

"I like to fight, kill, torture, kill, and spill blood," Khorne said smiling. "I also like weapons."

"Oh. I like ramen and training! Tell me about some of your battles."

"I would love to. Picture it: a great field with soldiers fighting. The battle was bloody and the smell of blood hanged in the air! I had my ax and I was cutting through men like butter! Friend or Foe! The sounds of death were music to my ears! Blood! BLOOD," Khorne screamed. Naruto looked around and saw people staring at them. "I LOVED IT! I WAS IN THE THICK OF CARNAGE! I COULD THE PAIN OF A THOUSAND SOULDS! AHAHAHHAHA! BLOOD! BLOOD!" Everyone in the restaurant looked at the woman. Naruto wanted to shank under the table. A waiter came up to the table.

"I must ask you to lower your voice. Others are trying to enjoy their meal," he said. Khorne roared and punched the man. She was about to kill the man when Naruto spoke.

"How about dreams," Naruto asked. Khorne stopped and sat down.

"I have a lot of dreams. I want to get married to a certain man named Naruto Uzumaki. I want to have kids . . . alot of kids. I also want to rule the galaxy. Tell me about yourself."

"I want to become Hokage. I also want to have a family." The waiter who was punched stood up.

"Ok. What can I get for you two?"

"I'll have steak ramen and a glass of wine," Naruto said smiling.

"I'll have steak," Khorne said with a crazed smile.

"How would you like it cooked?"

"Raw and bloody. With alot of blood." The waiter looked horrified. "Oh and if I don't get enough blood, I will have yours!" The waiter nodded dumbly and ran back to the kitchen. Naruto was about to speak, but some one else spoke.

"Hello Naruto. I did not know you were dating," a cool voice said. Naruto looked up and saw Neji and Tenten.

"Uh. Yeah. Khorne, these are my two friends Neji and Tenten. Neji and Tenten this Khorne, one of my girlfriends," Naruto said. Neji raised an eyebrow at 'girlfriends', but kept silent. The four talked until, the food came.

"Your ramen," the waiter said as he sat a large bowel of ramen in front of Naruto. "Your steak," he said with fear. Khorne looked at the steak and smiled. The steak sat in a bowel of blood. "Oh and your wine sir." The waiter quickly left the pair. Naruto began digging into his ramen, ignoring the world. Khorne on the other hand was smiling. She took the steak knife and began to cut the steak up. She had a crazy look on her face. Naruto turned his head and gasped. Khorne was sitting there cutting her steak in different parts.

"I'm done. Let's go," she said with a bored tone. Naruto sighed and left some money on the table. The couple walked around the village and talked about different things (cough blood cough) for a few hours. At midnight, Naruto walked Khorne back to the hotel.

**Done! Leave who you want next in the review. Who will it be? YOU DECICDE! **


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